Early in the morning I woke up almost 8 am and my class starts at 9:30. I woke up a bit disappointed because, I want this day to be a productive one. I want to make myself effective even a small thing, but productive enough for me and to other people. So kick myself up and readied for school, I have to make my pace fast 'coz sure do I would be late again. Yes, again, seldom that I can be at school early, except if we're having reports. So irresponsible, yes.
After taking my bath, I went straight to my room, my laptop then caught my attention.I felt some ache throbbed in my heart, then a sudden flashback that happened few nights before came rushing to my head again. My eyes got blurry with the unshed tears. I blinked back, it's not time to remenisce on things, coz I'm gonna be late! Whew! So I rushed and went for school.
I thinked of many things....things keep playing on my mind that even the music coming from the headset in my ears can't avoid me from thinking, I want to relax, clear my mind, so I closed my eyes. I keep on whispering words in my mind, "Lord help me, give me strength from fighting this depression. Give me the courage for me to change." If only I can shout, I would shout that time given. But still, I close my eyes and relax my mind.
I'm late for 3 minutes, not bad for me for trying to start. The classes went on, we have discussion in the morning in our Tourism subject. As I listened to my prof, I realized that she's a great person, way back I thought she was not coz she speaks harshly like as if she belittles us. But then as I listen to her, I saw her as a TEACHER, her experiences, her advices, and anything the she went on through her journey as a student and as a worker. I remembered the line that I posted in the facebook, "Don't judge others by the way you've witness him, because you don't know what's in the heart of that PERSON. Even if you know that person much, still you don't know what he/she is going through." True, and that I think, maybe I should start doing it, now.
The hour is just fine passing, then in our last subject, my temper boil-up. There was this reporter assigned this day that was so... I can't say the right term but for me, was so irresponsible. He just read his report and his voice was so low like he's eating up his words, not appropriate for speaking in front of a crowd. I admit, I'm not good in reporting, but not that irresponsible not to do my job. Even put some little effort to it, for the sake of the group, I didn't saw that. Then there's a ting sound in my head reminding me on the saying that I was trying to meditate on and apply within myself. Well, I put it aside and concentrate on listening to the other reporters.
It was, a so-so day, I went home and did my chores and my homework as well-there's a need for me to be online in my homework. I opened IS(Internetserye) and have a little chitchat with my family-friends. I miss one person there, she knows who she is. *sigh* I will wait until the day that she will talk to me. Someday, maybe one of this days. I hope so. Coz I miss her, not just her, also the old MAE they knew and my Dadii also Momii, that I know would never come back for me, for what I did. *sigh again*
Now I'm writing this blog, and my promise that for 21 days not to be online was broken! Haha! But I lessen my hours in front of the laptop. I'm controlling it now. I need to, have to.
Good night bloggers! I will post my fisrt reading of the bible tomorrow evening and my views.
Bayeee! Forever I love you IS!
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